Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
