that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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