there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
