Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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