I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
