I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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