Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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