i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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