Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
