Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
