Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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