Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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