she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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