No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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