is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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