How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My room smells like vodka and shame
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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