really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.