my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at