Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
