oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
