im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
