When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
