so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
