Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
