that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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