Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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