It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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