we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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