There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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