You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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