They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
