hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
