I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
