and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
