Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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