walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
