remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it because I queefed?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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