You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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