Sry I called you an 8
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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