K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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