Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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