on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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