Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
