i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
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i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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