We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
