I'm really into asian looking animals
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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