Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
