come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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