i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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