I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
