So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
