u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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