dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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