the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize