adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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