why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize