i already hear my dad disowning me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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