What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
