she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
