well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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