No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
