Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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