weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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