i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
where are my eyebrows?
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